PhantomS says....

hmm

2011-10-07T07:18:00.001-07:00

if you are reading this, put the computer down and get me a sandwich

wow.

2011-03-21T19:43:00.001-07:00

finally she's getting married. Wish you well, will just use this torch for setting fire to someone, I guess....

bits and bobs

2011-03-21T19:27:00.000-07:00

Hikayat Merong Mahawangsa was supposed to be the 'new benchmark' (Lisa Surihani) in Malaysian filmaking. But instead it flopped on many counts.....

-why is the protagonist speaking such flat dialogue in several languages? Such an Alpha male should be smooth and have elocution, not sound like a tourist reading a phrasebook...

-We have a love story between prince and princess....who promptly disappear before we get to know them. And Marcus shouldn't call Horatio by his English name Horace- it's just wrong.

-I know it's a mythical account of Kedah/Langkasuka's history but why on Earth would the Han Emperor send a princess and not one of his own princes? Out of chracter for an entire era.

-We have very Chinese characters on one side...who don't speak Chinese, and instead use very thick accented Malaysian English with each other. It just hurts my ears.Most viewers won't notice Malaysian accented Putonghua (Mandarin) but most will notice Manglish.

-Our hero is quite helpless for most of the movie.

-some blatant ripoffs from Pirates of the Caribbean, down to the little Jentayu (NOT a seaworthy vessel), the kampung warriors

-an Archimedes Death Ray....? dear physicsts, does it even work that way...?

-"Parut"..... in Brunei that means something else, you know :{P

Exam time

2010-12-21T22:54:00.000-08:00

wow FR was easier than I thought....

Nothing.

2010-11-07T06:25:00.000-08:00

I feel so empty. No one wants me anywhere, to do anything. No one wants me to even speak, or breathe. There is no light at the end of the tunnel, for I am in a well that is being cemented over. I do not want to live.

oh my nose!

2010-06-10T00:17:00.000-07:00

there are two scabs in my nose. Oh dear lord!

Full Moon

2009-11-04T07:05:00.000-08:00

I just love the giant full moon tonight. Makes me think of love, makes me think of epic romances. Not going to sigh so much, but hey- it takes my breath away, La Luna~

No longer

2009-07-11T07:07:00.000-07:00

It is very, very simple. I ask for some decent suggestions, all I get is plagarized nonsense, repeated text messages of nonsense, penyeluru nonsense. It would be better to say "no ideas" or "I got nothing" or even "sorry". And then you go calling me an ungrateful sod. Please don't use the word if you've never set foot in the UK. I did not ask to be annoyed, peppered with stupid suggestions.

This is a continuing trend with you. No more. You are no longer my friend and I am no longer your friend. it was a total waste of time and effort.

"I am not your doormat" -funny Kye, you seem to be everyone else's.

Where have I been?

2009-05-24T08:18:00.000-07:00

I haven't been blogging for a while, not that anyone really *reads* this blog to care, but I still have to explain myself once in a while. Being at work really takes up a lot of time and I'm not currently blessed with Internet at work (barring phone facebook of course). Even after that I'm usually jogging or watching a movie or just chillaxing.

It's been what, two months! that's too long even for a non serial blogger...I don't even know when to start!

This was me on Thursday in Ward 21 of RIPAS hospital.... damn you gastroentritis!!! Almost missed...

FASS NITE!
The pictures are on my facebook- tag yourself !

I was glad that everything went well and everyone enjoyed themselves. Everyone clearly worked hard but also had a lot of fun. The lecturers were great and a lot of fun! Somehow I ended up being the semi official photographer- hope everyone is pleased with the pics! And no complaints about the flash- without it you might as well wear a ninja mask!

Well done to everyone -Zul, Mun, AJ, Yuzzey, Efna, Diyana, Lisa and the rest of BPMFASS! From start to finish, practically flawless.

I sincerely hope this isn't the last we see of each other... I don't want to hang around 40 year old career people all the time!

-hoping to blog more, Phantom "on MC" S

listening to :- Opeth- Burden

the week in pictures

2009-03-09T08:01:00.000-07:00

Tagged by Yuz

2009-02-02T04:45:00.000-08:00

Whoever gets tagged has to write 10 things about the person who tagged him/her:

* Knew him through Ajmal ,who always called him 'Sop'

* Likes to listen to krumping music

* The calmest man in Brunei- hooked him up to the OGDC brain wave
machine and his graph was flatter than a pancake!

* He practices Tae Kwon Do

*never seen without his glasses

* He changes his Facebook status very often

* Loves McDs

* Promised to blog only on the weekends

* His catchphrase with me is 'CHICKENWINGS'

* Prefers the Primera Liga to the English Premiership

The person who get tagged has to write 10 things about himself/herself:

* I have, want and need friends and am hurt by rejection

* I'm 26 but haven't changed since I was 16.

* I like to eat out a lot

* I don't seem to make funny jokes

* I dream of being self-employed

*I like to play video games but not with people

* I play electric guitar

* My favorite imaginary weapon is the lightsaber

* I hang up on emotional things for months or even years.

* I want to lose weight but Brunei seems to refuse , even the weather hates me.

You need to choose 10 people to be tagged and list their names:

* Azhan

* Amin

*Izati

* Katie

* Nisa
*Arina
*Ani (handbag guru)
*Sakinah
*Abu (DBC)
*Kak Chan

Bonne Annie' La Cine

2009-01-25T10:17:00.000-08:00

GONG XI FA CAAAAAAAAI

Year Of The Ox

It's DARK!

2009-01-23T10:10:00.000-08:00

I can barely see anything between Kiulap and Gadong :ohnoes:!

ah camera is on it's way. That's it!

Noie Yahren 2009 Parte1

2009-01-12T09:52:00.000-08:00

It's already 2009? damn , I need to go back to ~~work~~ sleep!

The year started nicely enough, with a trip to JP with the geng - it ain't about fireworks, it ain't about the parties, it's about who you're spending it with. I spent many New Year's Eves asleep because I couldn't just be bothered with celebrating it, especially when overexcited people would try to burst in and go HAPPY NEW YEAR when really they were only being happy for themselves.

Going back to work is a drag for anyone, but with a new office, plenty of new opportunities to ~~escape~~ work outside, the future is still dark, but there is a big ol' torchlight in the backpack now.

my new office- cosy isn't it?

( I also have a new phone! I don't have to post pictures of it- just google "Sony Ericsson c905" :P)

The start of the year dragged on as it always does- everyone on leave, no one actually going anywhere. My mind cast itself back to 2008, such a fun year. The calendar in front of me however said 2009,2009,2009 and I just sighed. One fun way to pass the time, however is to read novels by authors you never bothered to read or had forgotten. For me, that author was Mario Puzo and the books were (of course) the Godfather, The Sicilian and his final book Omertà. Incredibly engrossing reading, so much so that I managed to finish all three in two weeks. I haven't even watched the Godfather movies in full yet!

Me after reading what Luca Brasi did to Capone's triggermen*

Another reminder of 2008 came up when the results for the final exams of 2008 came out, quite late , if experience tells us anything. Naturally I hopped out of my office window, slid down the pipe, bounced off someone's Landcruiser and straight into my car the moment the SMS came to me. There's always a crowd but you always look for people you know- in this case Yuzzey, Arina, AJ, Arif and Amin. There was this one mad rush at one point when an exam sheet got ripped off the board but otherwise there were more people gossiping or texting rather than looking at the very small result text....

I wanted to post a real photo here but it never wanted to load.
So enjoy the kangaroo.

I do however have to announce some resolutions for this year which have to be fulfilled in some shape or form but not in any order.

-lose enough weight to regain the 60% or my wardrobe that doesn't fit.

-ensure all emotional boundaries are made secure and well defined. A fence is not for sitting on.

-Carry out threats as promised.

-Actually manage to remember and play a whole song.

-writing a song of my own.

-go to a place I had never been to before.

-wake up on time for things!

-Come to terms with the fact that not all people will tell you everything but hate you anyway.

-get something published, even if it has to be porn.

- get a DSLR camera that rocks but doesn't hurt.

-once again, venture into the world of the woman and bring back something other than her shattered heart (or her head).

-hurt who I intend to hurt and enjoy it very much.

Part 2 to come later....but wait...

*Luca Brasi caught the two guys, stuffed them up to their necks in mail sacks. He then took an axe and chopped up one of them to bits. The other guy was so shocked that he swallowed the towel in his mouth and died

The BBQ

2008-12-29T05:17:00.000-08:00

Today was a really nice day at the beach. I usually hate the beach, but as I always say, anything is doable if you are doing it with friends.

The planning session beforehand was in the lovely confines of the Nyonya Restaurant outdoor stalls, although the restaurant was long closed when we got there- pasar malam food will do just fine ! After the usual 'two channel' discussion (tau lah tuuu) the plan was set...at least in theory! More on that later...

I was at Hua Ho at about 9.40 AM...still not open, but the doors were open and the escalators were working. It's interesting to see how people run around and prep a department store before it opens- I would have taken pictures but that would have been weird, plus I was also trying to save time. Picked up the BBQ chips and salsa and a few other things ( ROPE, DUDES?), then zoomed to Muara.

en route, someone texted me- "You got kerosene?" ......dude who the hell brings kerosene with them everywhere they go? Mi etu no capische! Sul serio...

Anykoows, I got there at about 10-ish and as usual there is no parking at the Muara Beach. Expand the beach and beautify it, but the car park? We have to start thinking like car-crazy Bruneians when we build these things....

Found Wafiy wandering around with his guitar like a gypsy and we found the others quite quickly. Amin, Azhan, Yuzzey, AJ, Mun, Faye, Farah were already there. We settled in and started the BBQ up, although to my shame I'm not really good at these things; I prefer cooking in the kitchen. Here's a shot of what I mean...

notice I'm missing? hehe kes inda pandai BBQ

Being a bit useless on the BBQ (plus still going around with the Gala guilt) I took to the guitar. Now I can't sing, so it's very unlikely I know any songs! even if I did play along to one no one would probably know the words! so thank goodness for this fella showing up...

yes he reads the news!

The plan was to do some after-lunch activities, and we proceeded to the first; a pass-the-parcel kind of game. I was kind of hoping for spin the bottle, but we didn't have a bottle heheheheh.... the task was simple, someone keeps time with music and everyone passes a ball around. The Ball Getter would have to do something that Amin made up. I got the 'be a baby' command...

But lo! the second event was somewhat pre-empted by a FASHION SHOW! That's right, a HEELS FROM HELL show! Needless to say, the 'heel relay' was off! Just look at these raging hormones! Pure beauty in heels made to er...inflict pain!

I only know these guys like this- ankles and above!

I don't know these girls... Thailand trannies?

The rest was a long.......long........long.......long walk to the end of the beach! I don't know what else to say, that's all it was! Dropped my phone but luckily Azahan found it ! Other than that it was walk, pose for pics, walk, pose for pics, pose for more pics, walk, walk, pose.... very Bruneian, no? Who are we if not the most able volunteers for strange/mad poses!

The last interesting find was this marlin Yuz and I ran into. It seemed to be carrying its eggs so it was a female (swordfish species are like that).

That is one huge fish! (and those are Azahan's fingers)

I still owe the girl on the left an apology for something I still don't know what I did....but as a wise friend says, 'move on'....but I'm still scratching my head. Just what did I do? That should be the mystery of 2008, we have 2009 to ponder over it....

or as they say in babel -Japanese...

私はまだ私が….したことを左の女の子に私がまだ知らない何かのための謝罪を負うしかし賢い友人として言ったり、続く私の生命と….しかし私はまだ私の頭部を傷付けている。ちょうど私は何をしたか。それは2008年のミステリーべきである私達過すそれを熟考するべき2009年を….

For Yuz

2008-12-28T08:55:00.000-08:00

biar ia heheheh.....

I had to visit the eye doctor yesterday after a crazy allergic reaction to some 'batang pisang' vegetables (not the banana fruit, thank God) left me with eyes that looked like minus signs.

the problem was I have this crazy shifting phenomenon going on when I look straight- my carpet and even my Guitar Hero Highway look like they're off center and running to catch up with the rest of my vision!

I now have three eyedrops, one eye cream and two anti histamine sets to take for 14 days.

The scariest part though, was when the optometrist dabbed these color drops into my eye. For 10 minutes, everything was in this color! I panicked and almost ran out the room! I thought I was going blind or something- no wonder I couldn't look straight!

Having my eyesight affected is not fun, I tell you...

2008-12-10T06:40:00.001-08:00

Lets101 Quizzes - fun Myspace quiz

One of those tag thingies

2008-12-10T06:08:00.000-08:00

The rule is , google image

The rules are simple. Use google image to search the answers to the questions below. Then you must choose a picture in the first page of results and post it as your answer. Have fun..

(a) place you'd like to travel to

(b) a favorite place

(c): a thing you can't live without

(d): favorite food

(e): college major

(f): a bad habit

(g): the name of my love

(h): searching for

(i): wishlist

2007-2008 in a nutshell

2008-11-20T10:22:00.000-08:00

When I first got the order to do the PGCE at UBD I balked and let out more flames and fire than a dragon eating peppers in hell. I condemned everything from the top to bottom and how stupid rules affect smart people (I still do). Now that it's ending I'm rather sad at having to leave. I feel like I've had two experiences of youth time- one in the UK and now here. I feel more well rounded and fluent and 'in touch'.

The first semester was interesting to say the least (the paperwork trail before was NOT) but I felt really detached from the education courses but really stuck into the History courses. It's no surprise most of my UBD friends are from FASS and not SHIBIE. In fact I can't think of anyone (not from the PGCE course) from semester 1 who is still my friend now that semester 3 is ending that was from the SHBIE courses. The only damp squib was probably the slightly lame convo festival.... to be remedied in 2008!

I'd post some pics but I can't be arsed- maybe a later post? I haveto blog more....

Second sem was very interesting; for 80% of the PGCE people it was the last semester and for my new buddies at FASS it was their second, or second to last semester there. I met two of the members of the Midnight Malam Malam Makan team (we are all 'A' people too, including the honorary lady member heheh). The memories from this time in early 2008 were awesome- cramming and jamming PF2212 at Suzie's house, wise cracking Dr Kurtz's "tutorials", that Amway proposal (I said no) and of course Dr Boorer's awesome classes/tutorials/interview sessions. I miss you history people- MOT and all!

The TP? Less said about it the better. I heard the school went even crazier after I left, good riddance for me! (I think I still owe them some work).

There were those two awesome vacations- KL in June and Australia in July; it's all on the FB for details, I was extremely satisfied with both for different reasons. I lost a glove again in Australia , but otherwise breathing new air really makes me come to life. I am definitely coming back to both places for sure.

Third sem, that's when it really got exciting. With a smaller timetable life was easier, and the Hang Out period began. The arrival of a new VC as well as a veeeery familar BPM FASS committee (nothing against BMSHBIE, but their room is creepy) made for a cranking up of the excitement level. The MMMT team based ourselves in Red Canopy ( later Thyes) and even got into bowling. I also made friends with an assortment of people; amateur video coreographers, would be shredders, queens, hair models, metro boys, dive enthusiasts, coffee people, download kings/queens , drama folk , Romeos and Juliets, costume makers and cooks - to say the least. Whoever says UBD people are boring and identical really needs a Makita drill up the ass. I've never had a reason for staying up late so much until now!

According to my car, in the first two weeks of Raya I travelled a sum total of 10,520 km - that's 10 times round Brunei! Thanks to my scattered friends all over Brunei!

One thing might have made this less than perfect- a complete mess (on my part) after the Gala Night that was supposed to end the whole shebang.

I only have to say this- I am truly, deeply sorry to Hazemah and Faye for my reaction to your sincere apology. I've had a lot of people apologize to me in my life without being geniune. I eventually lost my trust in anyone who apologized, because people have done me in almost immediately after being sorry. You did not deserve such a harsh reply from me.

I. am. sorry.

As for two people who have somehow turned from warm to cold - Niza and Mun; I have no idea what started your U-turns towards me, but I can only apologize here as well. I just wish I knew who or what happenned. I don't like being marooned, but being shunned hurts more ,no matter what I might have done. Feel free to hate me, but just tell me why. Hell, I'll give you each one free shot to my face. I just wish people would just tell the truth to me.

I am Dog hear me bark

2008-03-31T05:41:00.001-07:00

Lets101 Quizzes - Blog Quizzes

War Junkies and Air Gears

2008-03-18T08:04:00.000-07:00

I don't care what his excuses are- Hazman is a war junkie and he is very much in denial about it. Sure, war has been a part of history but that is no reason to teach history 'to form 3 boys who will join the army anyway'. War junkie. I hope I can kill you someday slowly. See war, see Postdam, see Auschwitz, see war veterans with scars all over them. I have. You have not. So shut the fuck up you little war junkie and play with your little toy soldiers. You have no guts, let alone any brains.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

That aside, I have another review (which no one will probablly read):

This time it's a popular anime in Japan and the States, AIR GEAR.

I had heard that even the dub of this anime was better than one would expect, although I rarely watch dubs (out of availablity issues, really). I did fancy myself some shonen anime for a change, apart from the TV diet of Slam Dunk and Appleseed (plus the Vagrant shorts). So I got myself the first season of Air Gear on DVD and let it rip.

The first thing that hits you in the face is the awesome drum and bass (ish) soundtrack by Skankfunk. Every episode was a blast to watch because of the soundtrack ,which was perfect for this sort of anime with all the racing and high tempo action. Even the closing theme was thubthumping. It certainly helped me watch this anime in a good mood and was a refreshing change from metal guitar or orchestral backgrounds from a lot of anime I've seen lately (not that they are bad, just overused).

The concept of Air Treks, which are basically two wheeled rollerblades with engines and computer chips could have gone overboard but I'm glad it didn't. The idea of 'flying' with blades is something any 90s kid (like me) can appreciate, and the anime does a good job of demonstrating just how liberating the feeling is, even for the huge Buccha- a flying 7 foot guy in a pink shirt is so very anime. The animation could be a bit smoother, but barring CGI I can't really see how it could have been done justice. The idea of racing up vertical walls is crazy- I love it!

The show has some pretty interesting moments, particularly the Parts Wars that involve a lot of physics, falling down and racing. Our 'baby face' main character is shown to be a quick learner (Sakuragi Hanamichi but with less restraint) on the Treks, although I really loved the moment when upside-down rider Onigiri actually defeats a succubus-type character. I loved it everytime Buccha's "tank" appeared, I felt like running away from the screen each time it appeared.

That brings me to another strong point of the anime- characters. I was dreading that it would be an "Ikki and friends" show but it seems to be about everyone all at once, despite the main character being the Black Crow himself. Kazu , the loyal second is not given the chance to shine (the anime does not cover even half of the current ongoing manga story) as much as I would have liked but that's the problem with 26 episode anime these days; too many plotlines, not enough episode time. Ah, to reminisce about the old days when anime had 40 plus episodes....
A lot of the characters who show up are not really well used , partly due to their roles in the manga occuring later; Takenuchi Sora is particuarly not telling half his story, which might disappoint manga fans , at least until there is a second season.

Overall though, the characters are strong and make you think about them from the flighty nude-addict Simca (read the manga for more), the red haired flame King Spitfire and naturally, Ikki's four adopted sisters who all have wierd personalities apart from Ringo, the one everyone will root to end up with him (again, read the manga for more). Despite the lack of focus on many supporting characters everyone is there to be counted, which is pretty good in any anime ,a genre where a lot of characters are mere cameos for no reason. In sticking with my previous pattern of character relationship preferences, I'm not so glad that there are hardly any overt romantic relationships apart from Rika and Sora, which in the manga is a thing of the past but just restarted in the anime.

When the series degenerated into fighting teams near the end it ran the risk of becoming an 'arena combat' type of show . I was liking the F and E class matches where there was a creative goal to be reached, or the A-Class match where the tag is attached to a balloon that everyone has to chase. The matches with Behemoth were hardly a coda for anyone apart from Onigiri (just watch how he wins, it's hilarious), and the Kyoto arc that follows is not really worth being the ending of the series, especially since nothing at all has been tied up. The plot seemed written for more episodes but I was disappointed with the sudden halt to proceedings with nothing but a big Air Trek jump to show for it.

Another sticking point is the fan service- I know this is also prevalent in all of OhGreat!'s work but the story needs to be told before anything should be bandied about. It's much more interesting when it's really comedic, accidental or meaningful to the character (look at Onigiri's "honey", for instance) rather than Simca suddenly appearing in Ikki's bed naked for no reason other than to titliate him. It ain't funny, at least not to me.

How shall I rate it? I would normally give my grade for average shows with some noticable flaws (7) but thanks to the soundtrack still in my head I will push it over the barrier and award an

8/10.
(Heroic Age review postponed)

Review No 2: Glass no Kantai @ Garakan: The Glass Fleet

2008-01-23T06:43:00.000-08:00

As promised, this is meant to be a summative review of Legend Of The Glass Fleet @ Garasu no Kantai. Read the Code Geass review down there for disclaimers and warnings.

I'm always inclined towards space operas so I tend to have higher standards for the ones I watch. I've seen a lot of ads on Animax about this show and even watched a preview episode attached to another anime DVD. I was quite impressed with that episode and was looking forward to the other episodes after getting the box set.

My first impression was that there wasn't a suitable number of episodes. As a general rule, medium paced shows should have more episodes (at least 40) to flesh out the characters. Fast paced shows that have things that change over and over again can survive on a half season of 26 episodes, but not a show like this. Vandread, perhaps but not Glass Fleet.

The characters are interesting enough, even if the cast is ridiculously huge. The lead character Michel Vorban is your perfect combination of Princess Leia and Padme Amidala, combined with a dash of Maid Marion and D'Artagnan. She is very vulnerable to her past, which is why we never really see her act like a woman until we meet the second protagonist, the impossibly named Cleo @ Kureo, who commands the aforementioned Glass Ship (that's some glass, it doesn't shatter easily). The crew of the Glass Ship is your typical motley crew, my favourite being Hizack ,the man with a hundred secret skills and psycho legionnaire helmet (he even finishes the list at one point and has to think). Michel's butler Jean is Alfred Pennyworth-loyal to the end, complete with tea set; so is his niece. I have no idea how a tea set can survive an entire TV series !

The villain(s) are drawn from the wierd and wild, given the nature of the series. You have series of generals and admirals who have all sorts of wierd quirks; I particularly raise an eyebrow at the fat gentleman with the harem. The Holy Royal army is spectacularly presented in CGI, with floating country/continent bases and neatly lined fleets. The volume of the Holy Emperor's army is shown to be its primary strength, one scene in the show shows how a minor lord with his own army is still outnumbered 100 to one despite his huge continent.

That does bring us to the Holy Emperor Vetti. Barring his annoying boy-lover/bodyguard Ralph he is truly a loveless man but a great rival to Cleo. He is a pretty interesting villain, since he is also stuck in the mileu of politics and warfare of his own side, a bit like Char Aznable in the 0079 Gundam series but more in control. If it wasn't for Ralph he would be near the Red Comet in my 'sympathetic villain' ranking. The daughter of the Black Cross Pope starts out as an enigmatic person but turns into a psycho bitch- what do you expect from marrying an openly homosexual megalomaniac? It's interesting that he chases Michel because he thinks she is her brother (Her real name is Lacine, Michel is her brother). The look of disappointment when he finds out the hard way is priceless. He's heartbroken ! Although I'd recommend staying away from Episode 11 due to its genuine creepiness about his past.

Yet there are too many characters who don't have enough time for themselves to shine. We don't get to know Theodoric or the rest of Michel's "People's Army" that well, nor do we learn much about the Church of the Black Cross, or the prisoners who Cleo and Amire escape with. They all seemed like good avenues to explore, the prisoners in particular. One episode of Mospeada had a similar crew who you could feel for, even if they only lasted an episode.

The graphics are state of the art, although the physics have to be ignored in some cases. The Glass Ship is likened to a lance that tears through ships after branding it with the old royal insignia, something I find very cool. The fact that no one uses guns (except Hizack's ship cannon) is interesting, it makes the combat more intimate and personal. The opening scene of 'marrying' two space continents is spectacularly done, so solemn up till the twist of Michel showing up. The lands are unbelievably vast despite appearing to be small continents, complete with lonely cottages (my favourite scene of all occurs in one) , lakes and mountains. The ships all look like cookie cutter ships but that's mass production for you. Admiral Jiwen's whale like ship is good for a laugh ,especially when Cleo can't adapt to its slow speed or archaic messenger style. Over all the technology in this show is a balance of steam power and suspension of disbelief. It also seems like people can survive in hard vacuum, too.

So with all these good elements, just what makes it fall a bit short of what it could have been? A thick plot and a lot of wasted opportunities. Not enough episodes makes it hard to understand anything about the old Royal Family, or why Cleo and Vetti have the Soliel power source in their bodies. The last episodes remind me a bit of Gundam X and D.O.M.E , with the revelation of the Guilty Prophethood and the techno-cube. The Admiral Jiwen is one of the best supporting characters in the show ,despite his lack of use as a character. BB the wine merchant/ warlord is a key player throughout, although we know nothing of her at all. Too many missed opportunities. I have no idea who is it that raised Cleo, because we aren't introduced to him at all.

We have very little about the world pre-Vetti, especially why humans are stuck orbiting the black cross of galaxies. We don't know how twin brothers can be separated so far apart (and for what reason?) . A lot more revalation would be required for such a diverse world of characters. The Black Cross seems like some sort of wicked religion, but why does everyone believe in it? So many plot holes.

Cut to the chase, the show is too short and sums up things too quickly to digest. I can predict a lot of fanfiction expanding the story for that reason alone. The show really missed its chance to really impress me, despite its notable characteristics and attempts at novelty. The good swordplay, ship choreography, exotic fashions and good doses of humour are kind of undone by the wierd pace of the plot, which meanders helplessly after a tragic incident in the middle third of the series before crashing into the end. Potential is wasted for a great many things, romance included. Rachel, the pope's daughter is disappointing indeed and is more stupid than love struck.

Overall score: 7.5/10

next up: Heroic Age

As it turns out....

2008-01-23T06:36:00.000-08:00

I am not only a bullshitter, I am also a hypocrite...?

someone explain to me, how someone I've never personally attacked calls me those things?

Can't eat potatoes, just pass them along, pal.

I hate you too. Mind your knees, you won't have them after you meet me.

Series Review/ Revival of Life

2008-01-10T07:49:00.000-08:00

I'm back. I died a while back, but I was told not to go yet. I guess you could say the plot thickens. I still hate the same people I have always hated, and the list seems to grow exponentially. Frankly for me, that's a regular part of life. Let the hate reign!

But first, I've always wanted to do one of those review blogs. Thing is, blogging it one episode by one episode is tiring and I generally watch TV series from the DVD box, start to finish. I'm a marathon man, indeed. So each review is essentially a whole-series review rather than a step by step review. It does pay to live in South East Asia ,heheh

I don't give ratings for each category and the overall rating I give is based on how the series affected me, impressed me and made me think. I'm not a starry eyed fangirl shipper or A X B kind of person- I'm more of a Western literary minded person who is more Tolkien than Tezuka, so the perspective is mostly from a non-otaku point of view.

So mind the flames.

First up is the last anime series I watched. It's name is Code Geass : Lelouch Of The Rebellion.

Written by the ladies at CLAMP, whose work I normally enjoy (Cardcaptor Sakura, Tsubasa Chronicles) or get frustrated with to the max (Chobits, X, X/1999) I was intrigued by this foray into the world of giant mecha and colourful male leads.

Oh , we have our CLAMP favourites- a school where people wear black uniforms, kitty costumes with a real cat somewhere in the mix and of course the prerequisite little girls and the fact that almost everyone has long hair. And of course your talented ,sexually ambigious women who keep commenting on people of their own gender (Millie = Tomoyo with big Ds).

None of that is the main element, however. The main element is that young man in the middle of the photo, a certain Lelouch Vi Britannia @ Lamprouge who is a talented but arrogant 17 year old at the Ashford Academy. After a chance encounter with both a strange green haired girl and his childhood friend Suzuaku Kururugi in a Shinjuku subway he gains the 'Geass' ability that lets him command anyone to do anything, basically. It only works once per person and not on the green haired girl or another Geass user.

The twist is, Lelouch is not a good person. In anyone else's story he would be the villain, controlling and pulling people on his chessboard. He is set up to be the protagonist, particularly as his intention is to 'make a better world' for his blinded sister to experience when she can see.

The story takes us through various parts of Japan, including a half-metal Mount Fuji and a perpetually dark Hokkaido. There are several interesting characters here among the wide cast' however, neither Lelouch or Suzaku (the main characters) are among them. When this happens in anime I pray that Yoshiyuki Tomino comes in and simply kills them. Or like the architects of Gundam SEED Destiny, hastily change protagonists until the original one becomes a villain.

Both boys are ridiculously one dimensional and deluded to the maximum, plus the luck they have defeats all the four leaf clovers in the universe. In one episode Zero (Lelouch's deep voiced masked alter ego) is owned in a mecha fight and ejects, lying upside down. Yet no one among his enemies ,including one that discovers him tries to simply shoot him in the head. Oh no, she is shot instead by a confused redhead. He escapes too often and gives in to mega-sacrifice too much. For all his power the boy ends up committing mass murder in one episode, with very little sign of conflict or regret afterwards. The tears shed are crocodile tears- I felt nothing for him as he'll just continue being the selfish, unworthy lead to the series.

I do like a lot of the secondary characters, unfortunately they are needlessly demonized or emasculated rather easily in favour of the pretty boys in charge. If she hadn't shot the poor citizens of Area 11 or surrendered enemy troops, I would fall in love with Princess Cornelia in an instant. Colonel Todou is (to me) a mature , outstanding leader who unfortunately has to play second fiddle to a deep voiced, high-luck brat. I'd take the Four Divine Swords' skill over the Gawain's plot contrivance any day. The subplot with Ohgi and Ville should be followed up in the second season, I've always liked sub-commander types, and especially cross-forces romance. That's another thing I missed here- by the end, no one is actually in a proper relationship with anyone else. Not what I expect with a different girl falling over Suzaku or Lelouch every other episode.

I can't say much about the male character designs- other than the aforementioned Todou and Ohgi, every male here seems to be a lanky creature from bishonen-ville . I can't take the looks seriously enough. I can't help it, I'm just not a fan of artists who draw women very well but make men look like boys trying their hardest to look feminine. The women are beautiful of course, and together with the mecha concepts are the best thing going for this anime. I really like all of the weapons and tools used (yes, wheels!!), although I think the Lancelot unit is a bit too durable for my liking, although in its favour it's incredibly agile. The 'mecha that can blast everything' bit of the Gawain is horrible, though. This series does a good job of close and medium-range combat situations, I'd remove the Hedron beams from the Knigtmares in a heart beat.

The setting is also horrible- Ashford Academy seems to exist outside of the entire geopolitical sphere of the series, like some sort of wierd CLAMP nexus for all school based series.

Overall Grade : 5.5 /10

I'll be following other review blogs when the second season comes out. I won't buy the DVDs or try to download any of it, I don't feel like it's worth the hassle. Unless there comes some plot twist that brings this series forwards to a level of likeability and sense, I am not going to watch the second season.

up next: Glass no Kantai (Legend of the Glass Fleet)

Naqba , that is what it is called

2007-06-15T08:02:00.000-07:00

The Palestinians called it the Tragedy, or the Naqba. I have my own tragedy to report.

I have signed for the PGCE. It will start 6th August after orientation. I have no choice. Even the TSUT apparently has a changed number and won't/can't see me. It will be a slow and painful torture for me, one year and some of evil, painful things. I will be learning nothing I wanted to learn.

All my potential, my youth is gone. I will forever have the label of teacher. I will die a nobody. I am dead. I will be dead soon, I hope and pray. There is nothing left for me.

I am now forever hating everything called Brunei. If this is the official policy towards young minds then Nazi Germany is a much better alternative. Hell beckons, you conservative, narrow minded teacher assholes. I hope and pray you go first, before the liars, rapists, hypocrites and murderers. No one plays God but God. I don't want you to repent, I want you to die.

And Regina, coordinator of English at MOE- I will personally see to it that you never breath calm air again, after what you did to our unit. I promise, you will be on the next plane to emigrate (as your kind are) if you're not dead by 2009.

Amen.

I'm back

2006-11-30T11:06:00.000-08:00

and what a trip it was. There are a billion pics to upload, so this post is not going to be a photodump for now.

Thanks go to:-

-Zia and the Rahman family for putting me up (or putting up with me) for two weeks, enjoyed the grocery shopping, the chats in front of the TV, big thanks to the sisters for the phone tips and in general for giving me a roof over my head for nothing. Next time bro, just give me the floor, I really don't mind! Keep in touch, your phone may ring next year! Your mother was right , I really felt like a part of the family....

-My dear,dear,dear sister. There is really nothing and no one like you in the world. We did and still do argue about a lot of things but I can never replace you. I'd rather fight with you for the rest of my life than have no one to fight with. Being in Liverpool with you, seeing you in charge of everything....mom and dad couldn't be prouder if they saw you themselves. I certainly am VERY proud of you. I'm actually having trouble trying this blog because I'm crying....

And it's not the Sky TV I'm missing either hehehe...(sikit sikit lah)

-Sani the Podiatrist in training. I never thought I'd see the English coast again, or a naked Borat for that matter....keep your head up and see you in December! Thanks for a great day in Eastbourne!

-All the staff of Southern, Virgin and London Transport for not striking when I was travelling or giving me advice and directions, and for the smooth movement. People complain about you but coming from this piece of train-less, bus less rock I am eternally in your debt.

-Johnny Cash, The Beatles, Paul Gilbert for being the soundtrack to my trip and as it stands my entire life!

-Scuzz TV, Redemption TV, Bravo, Five Life for giving me something the wall of hate here restricts ever so much.

-Bondy for attempting to put me up; you're still my pal and if there is any justice in the world we'll meet again and lepak for real!

-Orange Mobile and the guy in West Croydon for giving me a great phone for cut price and keeping me connected.

-Dude in Picadilly Circus- you know who you are, dude. You helped me fulfill one of my greatest desires; to see Arsenal at their own stadium. Of course they're losing at home right now...I hope I wasn't a jinx! You rule, theatre ticket man....

-Virgin Megastore, HMV, Fopp, Rockers, Sound Control, Turnkey, indie stores for once again, giving me a catalogue of dreams to stare at and occasionally purchase.

-Forbidden Planet : you still own my comic soul.

-Alice, Andrew, India and the Red Fireball for spending my last night with me in the Goldsmiths Tavern (where else!?) and discussing everything from Tamil film, herbal highness, audio voyeurism, dancing to 80s rock. Really reminded me of the days when I did this every night, ah to be young again.

-Alice in particular; it was great to meet you again, pity there was no Ana but I have your offer in my pocket and will cash it someday, rest assured :)

-Barek, Atha, Zhuhur, Farouk, Qamry, Rukshana, Hussain, Hakeem and all you professionals out there. Thanks for the bowling and the dinner at Nur. Gave Zia's SATNAV a workout, that's for sure!

-The entire city of London: I will love you forever as your son and citizen, I hope one day to be able to call myself a resident in your borders, you truly are the key to my life and my access to the world. My soul belongs in Makkah and Medinah but London is where I felt human, where I could enjoy life to the fullest. My life as it is , will be geared to honouring my memory in your city.

love you all, take care and remember me if you never hear of me again...

Life Changes I suppose

2006-11-16T06:42:00.000-08:00

In a the space of 24 hours I will return to the last place my former life exits- that land of football streakers, Z list celebs and more than a few protesters. England!

Expect my mood to increase 100 fold.

I will pray for a safe journey and a very slow return. Heathrow=hope. BIA=shadow.

Anger Angerrr!

2006-08-12T07:43:00.000-07:00

As a bonded scholar who didn't major in education I'm still unhappy with the constant funneling of UK graduates into education for no reason other than "national needs".

This is the main reason why MinDEF made up its own scholarships- because they are sick of MOE stealing all the potential in Brunei.

Don't start with the Kennedy quote of what I can do for my country- I know what I want to to do for my country, and can I help it if it isn't teaching? I know people with great degrees in Mechanical Engineering, Accounting, Psychology (like me), even Pharmacy and Communication Technology- all teaching subjects like English ,Mathematics, Commerce.....

I'm totally disappointed with the 'pro-teaching' attitude in MOE- education is about goals that reach out beyond teaching and learning and into application. The current system only forces us to lower our skill level and put our lives on hold because in teaching there is no way up until you're nearer to 40 than 20.

Beware of scholarships- you may need them, but they condemn you to a lifetime of regret and uselessness.

Nothing against teachers themselves, mind you. Just those who have been funnelled, sorted, filtered, spat out and shat on when all we wanted was a career of our own

Fellow bonded people, let me as you this- do you feel like your degree was worth it now? I sure as heck don't, and I'm still wiping the brown stains off my face.

(repeated from the Brunei Resources blog- that was me too!)

Meine Farbes ist blau!

2006-04-25T06:42:00.000-07:00

Your true color is Blue!

What's Your True Color?

Brought to you by Tickle

Haji, your true color is Blue!

You're blue — the most soothing shade of the spectrum. The color of a clear summer sky or a deep, reflective ocean, blue has traditionally symbolized trust, solitude, and loyalty. Most likely a thoughtful person who values spending some time on your own, you'd rather connect deeply with a few people than have a bunch of slight acquaintances. Luckily, making close friends isn't that hard, since people are naturally attracted to you — they're soothed by your calming presence. Cool and collected, you rarely overreact. Instead, you think things through before coming to a decision. That level-headed, thoughtful approach to life is patently blue — and patently you!

sehr gut :)

My Life Is Over as I know it.

2006-04-19T03:30:00.000-07:00

H.M Akramin bin DP Haji Saifon (September 1982- September 2004)

that's not the guy who will blog here from now on. He died on 19th April 2006 when he received a heart attack reading a letter, after a year long coma where he taught Psychology at A Level. The letter contained a rejection of a dream. No more tutorship at UBD, the one thing the guy hoped for.
Hs dreams were crushed on the 19th and irreversably changed him.

I am Haji M.A now. I will write letters. I will see people. I will fight, ruthlessly to get out of teaching. I will fight for my life. H.M Akramin had a great life, we will always cherish it and all the friends we had.

My first step of renewal is...to remove the hair style.

There Shall Be No Hair. In war, hair is something people can trap you with.

I will fight. No more by the book. Remove your doors, I am coming.

skajap lagi kan cutiii....dalam negri....

2006-03-13T17:25:00.000-08:00

I seriously do not understand why someone working two years (1 daily, 1 monthly) still cannot apply for leave. It's bad enough we can only apply for it when there are school holidays, peak time for travelling and peak time for travelling costs. Why don't they just stamp 'J' on my passport and give me a yellow star like the people they are trying to emulate?

I guess it's the old people mentality, they have so much leave they can disappear for 6 months and then take sick leave in order to attend business board meetings.

Oh well, we're still cursed.

Sani- steaking, NOW!

Sungai Teraban indeed.

yahoo

2006-01-18T20:31:00.000-08:00

You Are 26 Years Old

Under 12: You are a kid at heart. You still have an optimistic life view - and you look at the world with awe.

13-19: You are a teenager at heart. You question authority and are still trying to find your place in this world.

20-29: You are a twentysomething at heart. You feel excited about what's to come... love, work, and new experiences.

30-39: You are a thirtysomething at heart. You've had a taste of success and true love, but you want more!

40+: You are a mature adult. You've been through most of the ups and downs of life already. Now you get to sit back and relax.

What Age Do You Act?

Hate Is Good

2006-01-10T08:20:00.000-08:00

Hate keeps you safe from scorn

Hate keeps disagreements from turning into misguided understanding

Hate protects your values

Hate keeps money in your pocket

Hate protects, hate loves you more than anyone else

Hate keeps the fearful in check and prevents the weak from becoming strong

in short, Hate is wonderful. Don't waste it and don't abandon it. Love is a lie, hatred is the painful truth. Love brings blind hope, Hatred looks behind and laughs at the barren land behind it.

I worship hate in its purest form. It will keep me sane forever.

Ah, MSN

2005-12-06T19:30:00.000-08:00

what to do on a weeknight? Chat up mi partner in funny crime, Bondy ;)

jan marah ah Bapa Bondy kekekeke

Note:
Icthion Satrinaga-I saw a rounder -Me
cats vs dogs- dogs hang out, cats don't. Cats are cooler - Bondy the Urban Makcik

Icthion Satrinaga-I saw a rounder says:
but more on your brother

Icthion Satrinaga-I saw a rounder says:
he wear any metal besides rings?

cats vs dogs- dogs hang out, cats don't. Cats are cooler says:
he doesn't wear rings

cats vs dogs- dogs hang out, cats don't. Cats are cooler says:
nor jewellery really

Icthion Satrinaga-I saw a rounder says:
chains?

cats vs dogs- dogs hang out, cats don't. Cats are cooler says:
my dad doesnt really like it heheh

Icthion Satrinaga-I saw a rounder says:
your dad wasn't a hippie?

cats vs dogs- dogs hang out, cats don't. Cats are cooler says:
my dad was a hippie! lol so i dont understand why

Icthion Satrinaga-I saw a rounder says:
maybe he wants his boy to be an upstanding young gentleman

cats vs dogs- dogs hang out, cats don't. Cats are cooler says:
lol true! Hahha

Icthion Satrinaga-I saw a rounder says:
(and secretly wishing him to fail in that)

Icthion Satrinaga-I saw a rounder says:
think malcolm in the middle

Icthion Satrinaga-I saw a rounder says:
when his dad got his 'freedom'

cats vs dogs- dogs hang out, cats don't. Cats are cooler says:
but he always tells my brother 'rules are meant to be broken'

Icthion Satrinaga-I saw a rounder says:
well let's just be glad this gentleman isn't on a ship

cats vs dogs- dogs hang out, cats don't. Cats are cooler says:
ROFL

Icthion Satrinaga-I saw a rounder says:
and isn't in charge of it when it's sinking

Icthion Satrinaga-I saw a rounder says:
'forget the lifeboats, start up the band!'

cats vs dogs- dogs hang out, cats don't. Cats are cooler says:
hahahahha

Icthion Satrinaga-I saw a rounder says:
titanic style

Icthion Satrinaga-I saw a rounder says:
'but chief, we only have 12 people on this vessel'

Icthion Satrinaga-I saw a rounder says:
"START UP THE BAND"

Icthion Satrinaga-I saw a rounder says:
*gulp*

cats vs dogs- dogs hang out, cats don't. Cats are cooler says:
hahahahhahah lol im cracking up

Icthion Satrinaga-I saw a rounder says:
'chief , the bass player just flew off on the last helicopter'

Icthion Satrinaga-I saw a rounder says:
"call up Shell HQ, send us another one"

Icthion Satrinaga-I saw a rounder says:
*lights up fag*

Icthion Satrinaga-I saw a rounder says:
'chief, we're on an OIL tanker'

Icthion Satrinaga-I saw a rounder says:
"we're also sinking, and we don't have a bassist!"

Tag Tag Tag

2005-11-25T07:26:00.000-08:00

10 years ago

13 years old , still pretending to be a character in my own 'novel'. The plot is so long and so spread out it will never be finished for the next 9 years. About this time I gave up on women (well, the possibility of being with one in a meaningful non-gigolo relationship) and football (that took longer, due to hormonal changes in the other guys). Start drafting Policies Of Isolationism, which are gone from hard records (thanks, rain water and careless amah) but are drilled into my head.

5 years ago

18- MD, in the great period of my life. New school, new life , and for once, real friends. Out 'bad-assed' the 'bad-ass' geography teacher , got recognition for being myself, learned 1001 secrets of Brunei life (no thanks to the sheltered MS bubble) and about a billion new words. Still diggin' the chicas with respect to the wall of isolationism. Won various awards, horizons expand. Witnessed the emergence of the extroverts in life and the 'ohnoes' that ensue. Discovered the Anime Grapevine and the MD player, as well as the Drama System that runs in Bruneian teenagers . Begin Fire Lord Badil wars in Kg.Kilanas, conflict goes on for weeks. That stash, ladies and gentlemen has yet to run out.

1 year ago

Very angry at everything. The Ministry that wanted to ruin my entire career. All the mamma-yappers that said 'English' to me. Immediately recall the Policies and isolate self from staff. Powers that be run out of batteries. Gulf between father and son expands to planetary size. I was cheated, betrayed, humiliated and ostracized for being a non-footballing person.

I still hate you all and would gladly miscarry your wives and bury your mothers alive. And let you watch.

Yesterday

I was the Ultra Merah Man!!! Wooooosh!

5 snacks I enjoy

1. White Chocolate
2. Hazel Nuts
3. Nutella
4: cheese and crackers
5:Peanuts

5 songs i know all the words to

1. Yngwie Malmsteen- Baroque and Roll (there are no words! hah! )
2. The great Malaysian poem 'Tak Tun' (those are the only words)
3.Duran Duran- White Lines
4. Los Lonely Boys -Conestacion
5.Transformers....more than meets the eye!.

5 things I would never wear

1.white pants....NO!
2. songkok (prefer topi haji)
3.pink, lime green,white, ash
4. necklaces
5. anything too 'hip hop'. Includes hoodies with no purpose, hockey shirts, bling, white sneakers, arm bands, head bands outside of aerobics and 60s rock , baseball caps.

oh fellas, and if you have a nose/ear/eyebrow/chin ring...YOU ARE GAY.

5 favourite Tv shows (in no particular order)

1. Samurai Jack/ Justice League
2. Channel V's Rock Show/ MTV's After School Rock
3.All things CSI
4. Angel
5. WHOSE LINE IS IT ANYWAY? <---- God's gift to Man after er...fire, free will, cheese....

5 bad habits

1. Open cast mining....my nose.
2. walking reeeeeeally slowly
3. making jokes so lame I hate them too.
4. 'shoot the pimple pus'
5. fumble bank notes and dropping at least one when....not buying anything

5 Biggest joys

1. Defeating someone with The Law
2. Guitar. All things guitar from pick sizes to Mark Tremonti's left pinky
3. Driving to Dragonforce blaring out the speakers (air guitar included)
4. Cuci mata
5. being needed.

5 fictional characters I would date

1. Pre-angelic form Cordelia Chase (Angel)
2. Yelena from CSI: Miami
3. Huntress (from Birds of Prey Comic)
4. Kate Bishop ( Young Avengers comic- er, when she's my age)
5. Karin Song (Voltage Fighter: Gowkaizer anime/game)

5 people I tagged this to

-er....

Moving Chaos, No Tennis

2005-11-23T06:21:00.000-08:00

It was hard enough to get a tennis court at 5pm and BAM!

-partner doesn't show up on time
-rain
-smarmy tennis coach thinks I'm a hudlum

FEH BERJAMBUL!

And tommorow is the last day. Then they all move to the PTE and I get left behind along with 7 other people. It's not fair. I'm forced into this job and I don't even have any say in what I can do. That 'Crocodile Pit' incident back in the 60s sounds more alluring everyday.

It seems that no one is caring about anything in the office today- let it be, I don't either.

2005-10-11T09:00:00.000-07:00

The Keys to Your Heart

You are attracted to obedience and warmth.

In love, you feel the most alive when your lover is creative and never lets you feel bored.

You'd like to your lover to think you are stylish and alluring.

You would be forced to break up with someone who was insecure and in constant need of reassurance.

Your ideal relationship is comforting. You crave a relationship where you always feel warmth and love.

Your risk of cheating is zero. You care about society and morality. You would never break a commitment.

You think of marriage something you've always wanted... though you haven't really thought about it.

In this moment, you think of love as something you can get or discard anytime. You're feeling self centered.

What Are The Keys To Your Heart?

phoar.

Air Supply, Man..~I'm all outta love~

2005-09-28T09:30:00.000-07:00

An odd day. The lightest day of the year, it seems. We all sat in Kasco today having a 'staffroom chat' and then they mention her . Put her and the Vow Of Singlehood together, the latter seems shaky. I thought well, "we hate each other, so OK." I have no idea why, but I seemingly disagreed with myself when I said that.

And then we all bowled this afternoon. 4 days straight, man! and my score has now improved to well over 100 :D :D But the day was made by this odd feeling I hadn't had in what, nearly 3 years- that 'ooomp' feling in the chesty area (near the left boob). Damn it all...damn the VoS , it was her , unveiled and looking rather tight. She even spoke to me!

Had to fight every single urge to 'teach' her to bowl-even though I practically trained everyone else :*P I have no idea why this is happenning, damn these hormones! Kill Shyness, we declared on that rooftop in Paris. Birth Greatness, we said in Berlin's tunnels. Maybe in STPRI's offices I should say "Heal Lonely Hearts?" or "Fuck This, I'm Human."

Oh and we have a new 10 pound helicopter spin ball :D :D it's great bub...!!!!

till next time, you love -lacking lads and lasses.

Loss, Laziness and Love

2005-09-15T00:45:00.000-07:00

First of all, I must declare my love for chicken pau.

I have lost the tasbih Dad gave me :( I warned him I'd lose it, and now I did. I'm just not good enough to hold on to things like that, nor can I appreciate wood. I'm sorry, I can't look for it anyways.

it feels great not going to work (and being allowed to) - must try this more often. Got work to do and exams to run next week, but hey,I pray the interview comes closer and closer...

and if anyone has seen the tasbih (probably around Gadong-ish) message me please!

Go For it

2005-07-10T04:06:00.000-07:00

This is it, 22 days and counting before I have to accept (or not) the permanent job offer. My mind is in a billion places at once now; this is the critical junction of my life. I am sick of my father whining about being passed over, he never worked for a corporation or a sports team, I guess.

What is in the future? Will I be able to continue in my field? Wil I be sucked into endless teaching and the life of a nomad? I cannot wait, we retire absurdly early here and others are advancing in their careers.

Good Lord, you seem to have ignored my calls. I suppose I , like my father am to be cursed with mediocrity. I might as well have died in Paris.

Empty, just empty

2005-02-26T18:42:00.000-08:00

Due to several blunders on my part and others, now even the PGCE is in danger of not happenning-and with it the idea of any employment. I hope to fix this on Monday, but I am wondering how my life fell apart in five months. From beaming graduate to stuck-in the mud fool. I feel so empty, so homeless, so hopeless. Am I as smart as I think? Am I as able to deal with this?

I am so alone, so lost ,so empty. I don't understand how or why this has happenned. I feel sorryt for everyone who has believed in me, trusted me. I have gone and proven them all. I'm just a loser.

Conscripted!

2005-01-09T06:44:00.000-08:00

Here I am, sitting at my table wondering what could happen tommorow. It's the first day of teaching, and her we have a completely unwilling grad, pressed into the service and wanting to leave ASAP.

I'm not holding on to any blame put forward to me- the ones who sent me here are to blame for all calamities ensuing. If they wanted a teacher so bad, they should have extended my scholarship to PGCE level, Idiots. Fools. Only God can have mercy on their souls, and I hope He doesn't.

Forgive me ,children. You prayed for an angel, God sent you a living devil.

Bad luck, or bad times?

2004-12-23T06:03:00.000-08:00

I've had it up to my fucking eyeballs with unfortunate events. Laurel needs paint job, vain mother sends it despite having scratches the size of my belly button. Recover car, discover engine is fucked. Vain parents off to vain England. My fucking plan is fucking ruined.

All this, and I don't get to fuck anyone.

Reflections

2004-11-26T05:28:00.000-08:00

What do I do now?

I'm getting more and more attached to the people at school. Yet I know that in the future teaching will make me unhappy. The interview results will come soon, and I haven't even told the DP. I'm almost wishing they'd reject me now.... I still have to give a 14 day notice, too. Life is cruel at times. Life in an office, 7 to 4 (9 to 5?) ? I can't imagine moving again, even though I planned this. A career start at 22? not bad. A lot of new friends my age or even sights? not likely. Many ppl at Workplace NUmber 2 seem to be Michelin men and women.

There's even a sight or two here. Damn, how do I get into these things?! My roots are so dry it feels like I will be a nomad for a very long long time . How am I gonna grow old with anyone thins way? Maybe th 2 x 5 need to change...

sights- The One With The Blue Car (Generous?)
- She Who Smiles Not but is Damn Pretty ( KC ?)

Have challenged the Nas to find a job with his teaching degree. Good luck, buddy. Good luck.

Ah , the first word is the hardest.... HANTAP ok now it's easy.

2004-11-11T07:35:00.000-08:00

I guess I'm typing out of blog-dom. Lots to think, very little to say.

I wonder why.... - I keep looking at those friendster lists of beautiful women :P

- Arsenal can't win these days

- AKu ani inda laku

- aliens never land in my backyard, they always kidnap some white kid in roswell....